Two easy digital intentionality practices

Things you can try today, without sustained effort or willpower

A lot of people are daunted by the idea of doing a full digital declutter. Those people ask me all the time, “isn’t there something easier I can do that will still give me some of those sweet sweet benefits you were talking about?”

The answer is: sort of.

The longer answer is: I think that if you’re serious about wanting to change your digital habits, you will eventually need to do something higher-effort. That’s because behavior change is hard, especially when you are fighting against not only your brain’s ingrained patterns, but also external forces that are constantly pulling at your attention. But I still want to have something for those people who are not ready or willing to commit to anything big right now.

So, here are two things you can try in your everyday life, with no additional preparation. I chose these because they don’t require any sustained willpower or attention. You only have to remember to do it once, and then you’re doing it.

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Go for a walk without your phone

Pick a time when you have nothing you need to be doing. You’re not waiting to hear from anyone, and there’s nowhere you need to be. It’s nice outside, whatever that means for you.

If you need to, or it makes you feel better, you can let people know you’ll be offline for the next little while, so they don’t need to worry or get offended when you don’t respond.

Then you put your phone down inside your home, and you walk out your door without it.

You don’t have to be out long. If it’s really hard, try to last for ten minutes.

If you feel anxious about missing something important, remember that you can return home any time you want. If you feel anxious because you might need your phone in case of an emergency, remember that literally everyone else has a phone, so as long as there’s anyone around, calling emergency services will not be a problem.

If you feel anxious because you’re alone with your thoughts for the first time in years, I’m sorry. Look at the trees, buildings, sky, people, whatever’s around you. Or bring a friend who also leaves their phone behind, so you can distract each other. Whatever you need.

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Switch phones with the person you’re with

You can do this one any time you’re with a friend — at a restaurant, on a walk, hanging out at your house, even at work. I invented this trick (wow!) a few months before my boyfriend and I decided to actually take control of our device use.

We were at a hotel restaurant together (paid for by the airline when we missed a connection), and we were noticing how every single other diner had their phone out on the table. We hadn’t yet broken our own addictions, so we were also constantly reaching for our phones — though we kept them in our pockets, which gave us the barest illusion of control, or at the very least made our place settings look nicer.

I said, “hey, give me your phone”, and I put his phone in my pocket, and he put my phone in his. After that, whenever one of us unconsciously reached for our phone, there would be nothing for us to check.

So: Next time you’re with a friend, put their phone in your pocket, and give them your phone in return.

If you need to call emergency services, or take a picture or use the flashlight, you will still have immediate access to those things. If you really need to look something up, one of you can unlock your phone and have the other person do the search. But every little buzz in your pocket will be uninteresting and inaccessible to you.

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Out of the many, many tips I’ve read (or invented!), these are the only two that you can just do, without having to exert sustained or repeated effort. They don’t require establishing a new mental habit or any arbitrary rules that you have to remember to follow.

If you can think of any other strategies that have this feature, I would love to know! And if you know me, and you try one of these, tell me about it using my preferred communication method!¹

1. Transcontinental messenger hawks, but all my real friends already know that